Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi you`re my only hope!

I wish I had the talent to do these, they are awesome.

Found another new Star Wars Mash-Up today, with the Dukes of Hazzard! Gotta love these!

Star Wars A-Team

Star Wars Dukes of Hazzard

Han Solo P.I.

Star Wars MacGyver

Star Wars Dallas

Airwolf Rebels       

AirWolf Imperial

Ok, I might as well give George Lucas all of my paychecks as they are written. Another new find at Star Wars.com, new Potato heads. I am still busy collecting a few I havent gotten yet from before, and now he has released all new ones. I need a third job just for Star Wars toys.

http://www.starwars.com/vault/collecting/20090619b.html

Another gem I found while doing my daily Star Wars search through the world of the Internet. This one is just too funny and whats worse is I probably watched this live when it was on, I loved this show.

I think I have finally found something harder to watch than the Star Wars Holiday Special. I should have watched this stoned!

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/06/22/donny-and-marie-do-s.html

Found this on the internet and loved it, thought I would pass it along to all of you.

http://www.doubleviking.com/the-top-15-han-solo-quotes-you-need-to-use-in-regular-conversation-5215-p.html

So is it a sign of the technological times, or am I obsessive compulsive about my computers, social networking etc. or I am just mental? Sometimes I cannot remember the last two words I said, or can’t remember why I entered a room, or better yet have an idea pop in my head, not write it down and within minutes I am searching the recesses of my brain for what the hell it was.

But ask me my passwords and I could recite them to you backwards and forwards, and I have a lot of passwords. I have too many passwords in my head, mine, my kids, and my work. If I am ever interrogated this is all they will find, jumbled numbers and letters, sometimes from my favorite movies all stored up there and nothing else. I can’t remember what day it is and forget half my sentence as I am saying it, call my kids by the wrong name, but passwords that I can do.

I have several from star wars, varying from the number of the cell Princess Leia was in, (AA23) to the number of the garbage masher that almost crushed the trio to death (3263827). I have used the docking bay that the Millennium Falcon was in on Tatooine (94), to the type of freighter the Falcon is (YT-1300) to of course the ever favorite of Star Wars fans THX 1138 and variations thereof. I also have used ones from another obsession of mine, Titanic, the ship not the movie, although I do love the movie as well. I have used everything from the coordinates of where the ship went down to the hull number and the date of the sinking, as well as an ever present favorite of mine the distress call tags from the Marconi radio calls for help, CQDMGY.

People laugh at me for my penchant of using these for passwords, but think about it, they are numbers that are stuck in my head anyway from being an obsessive fan, and they are not easily guessed by hackers, because they are not my birthday, my kid’s birthdays, my address etc. Of course I am giving them away here, but since you don’t know my email address and what accounts I am referring to I feel relatively safe writing about it.

Like my pet’s names and children’s name for that matter anytime something needs to be named or password protected I seem to pull it from my favorite movies.  As I write this I just thought of another one, the address of the house in Poltergeist, and the name of the house complex they live in Cuesta Verde (which by the way if you really want to see how obsessed I am, means it costs green in Spanish, I googled it years ago.

So what is my point, the moral of my story? Well I guess the point is that I cannot remember what I start to write about half the time, but if it is something from Star Wars or other movies I am obsessed with I can recall it like it is a matter of life or death. My friends think it’s funny that I know who Sy Snoodles is, or better yet Salacious Crumb, but I do and because of it I can bet my account won’t get hacked before theirs does. So I guess the moral today kids is love Star Wars, it can protect your online accounts Ha! Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi..I need a Star Wars support group.

As many of you know, or surmised by now, I am a huge Star Wars chick, geek, fan whatever you want to call me. I went as far as naming my son Luke Skywalker! So every once in awhile during my travels on the Internet I find great Star Wars finds and news I must pass along. This is one of those times. Enjoy!

Star Wars Plush dolls. George sure knows how to break me, I cannot resist Star wars and cute.

This is fantastic. The only time I ever heard of a groom`s cake was in my daughter`s favorite movie, “Steel Magnolias” in that movie it is an ugly gray armadillo. This one blows that away. I almost feel like getting married again, just to have this cake…almost.  

Star Wars Soundboards. This I intend on using on anything and everything I have at home that talks. Cell phones, iPods, you name it. Now I can have Han Solo talk to me anytime, any day, anywhere.

For all my friends who are Star Trek fans, take this with the lighthearted ribbing it was intended. I did enjoy the new Star Trek movie, although it did not come close to Star Wars. J

Now for those men that read the last blog I did on the grass being greener on other husbands and the list who will inevitably ask me what I would offer to this illusive third husband, let me give you yet another list. Fair is fair after all and I am nothing if not honest about my own shortcomings and annoying habits.

We will start with the things you will have to live with. The things I know are weird idiosyncrasies; the flaws that make me, me. Like I said, I can point the finger at me as much as I can point it at the men I have been with and/or married in my life. So here it goes.

I am slightly obsessive-compulsive about making sure the windows and doors are closed at night, so much so I may check them at least three times, and may ask you to do so as well. After asking you, I may even get up and check anyway because unfortunately for you the last few men I lived with had a tendency to lie to me about it, so my trust isn’t exactly there.

I cannot sleep in a bed that has an open bottom. By that I mean if it isn’t a captain’s bed I tend to shove lots of stuff under the bed. The reason for this may seem silly but since I am nothing if not self-deprecating here it goes. Friday the 13^th, the original scared the hell out of me. Well actually only one scene did. The one where Kevin Bacon has just finished having sex with his girlfriend (which of course is mistake number on in those movies) and is lying in bed waiting for her to come back from the bathroom. The next thing you know Jason spears him through the neck from under his bed and kills him. Scared the bejesus out of me and I never got over it, so I always make sure no one can hide under my bed and kill me, by making sure lots of things are under there so they cant fit. By the way on a side note, is bejesus a word? Because Microsoft word says it isn’t, just curious, after all I have been using that phrase for years, so it would be nice to know.

Continuing on, strange bed thing number two. I must sleep farthest from the door. I don’t have a side per se, just as long as it is the side farthest from the door that is all I care about. Why you ask? Well, that one is easy, if a burglar or murderer comes in the house he will most likely attack the first body in the bed before the one farthest from him, which of course would be you in this scenario if you were sleeping with me. So while he is attacking you I can escape, grab the kids and survive. Now don’t worry I would call the police immediately to try and save you, but if you end of sacrificing yourself for me because you slept closest to the bedroom door, well thanks…and I’m sorry.

Ok moving on here is a list of a few other things I come with as package. I am addicted to nose spray, have been all my life, and I cannot live without it. I have bottles of it everywhere from my car, to my office, my nightstand etc. I smoke, and at the moment have no intentions to quit, and I tend to male bash in public. Now this one some men I have been with hated, but others have put up with it, because in private I was different. As long as I trusted you and felt loved and secure, my personal feelings for you would be separate from the man bashing joking I do in public. First off, I have a lot of material, as my father has stated many times in the year since my last separation I suck at picking men, so I am ripe with man bashing material. Second, its all in jest, I am funny, and I tend to be sarcastic; it is my way. As long as you know personally I love and respect you, then you shouldn’t feel upset or threatened and if you do, we don’t belong together anyway.

I hate to lose. One of my many male traits I will be the first to acknowledge I have. I play video games to win and will gladly kick your ass and dance around the room to celebrate it when I do. In the outside world I tend to be a control freak, love being in charge and voicing my opinion and getting my way. Inside however, in a relationship I tend to like the man to be in charge, it’s a nice change actually and I have a thing for being submissive in that aspect. So as long as you can handle the tough controlling attitude in public, you will reap the rewards in the bedroom. Of course most of them men I have been with loved this aspect of my personality until we were married and then suddenly expected it to end. I never understood why, but then again I gave up trying to figure men out a long time ago.

Back to those male traits of mine; I drive like Mario Andretti (does that reference date me by the way), I weave in and out of lanes, curse and gesture wildly, speed like a demon and will cut off a truckload of nuns if they are in my way. I can be loud, tend to get drunk if I am drinking, like to embarrass people I know in public for laughs from time to time, can be sexually aggressive, and can be extremely stubborn. But, once again, behind closed doors I tend to different. I have always told people I had several different personalities living inside of me all of which fight for control at different times, and I think this proves it. Behind closed doors, for a very select few people who have seen it, I am shy, quiet and like to be led. I like to be seduced and treated like a girl who knows nothing about sex. I have found very few men in my life that can deal with this duplicity in the long term. Obviously since I have been married twice and dated extensively in between, lets not go into numbers here, but its definitely double digits.

I like to look like the tough no nonsense hard ass that I like to be to everyone I meet. But I also like to be coddled and protected, taken care of, made to feel secure and safe and loved and wanted. I must stop here for a moment to dwell on the fact that I just admitted that, I don’t tell many people, I’m not really comfortable doing so, and will probably deny that I did later on. As a matter of fact, I think I will deny it now. 

Ok, since I am on a roll lets see what else I can tell you to scare you away. Well, I am stuck in the eighties as far as music is concerned, I tend to wear all my shirts low enough to show off my boobs, I have a healthy or unhealthy depending on your point of view obsession with Star Wars and you will have to deal with the fact that Harrison Ford is a god no matter how old he gets. I have at least one book in each room of my house so I can read one of them at any time. I also tend to use the back pages of said books to write down notes and telephone numbers since they are always handy. So I need to rip these out or copy the notes and scratch them off the books before I loan them to someone. I know, it would be easier to get a pad, but old habits die-hard and I have been doing this one for years.

I can be completely unreasonable when it comes to things I would like my man to do in a relationship such as, not hang his dirty underwear on my bedroom doorknob, take out the trash, mow the lawn occasionally, help keep the house looking relatively clean, and by this I mean if you see dog vomit on the carpet, don’t step over it, or better yet, put a piece of paper towel on it and then wait for me to find it and clean it up. Here’s an unreasonable pet peeve for you, please don’t clip your toenails in the living room and then put the clipped nails in the ashtray. Do you have any idea how disgusting it is to go to take a drag out of your cigarette and find your husband’s toe nail hanging from it? That one definitely ranks up there as something I rather not have to see again in my lifetime.

I like it when you actually remember my birthday once every five years or so would be fine, I don’t expect big gifts or vacations, but a card or a happy birthday would be nice. For that matter, other holidays would be nice too, Christmas, perhaps a valentines day, a mothers day, you don’t even have to do them all, one or two would be fine with me, and a nice difference from the last husband I had who boycotted all holidays, and couldn’t remember a date to save his life. I even married him on New Years Eve so he could remember the date and instead for years when someone asked him our anniversary date he would say either the 30^th or the 1^st, so much for that idea.

I like to have time to myself. This doesn’t mean I hate you, or am having an affair, it means I like to have time to myself. Whether it be to read, or surf the Internet, I like to have my me time. Of course instead of hiding away and leaving me alone forever because you are a big baby and don’t like that I like and can find things to do on my own, you could come in after a little while and see if you can peak my interest in another activity. Wow I just re-read that sentence and it is dripping with sarcasm and unchecked anger, guess I still have some issues over the last time around, then again if you knew it all I doubt you would blame me. Read the dark side blogs for some real insight into the hell that has been my life the last few years, after that you will wonder how I have managed to stay as sane and normal as I have.

Well there is my list. I know I ended up once again sarcastically bitching about men, but old habits die hard what can I say. Oh, by the way I found bejesus in the urban dictionary so I am feeling better that it is actually a word. Just wanted to let you know.

Just a little story I found during my many searches of the Internet. Not only is he a Star Wars fan but he’s doing this for charity, so check it out.

This year Jeremy Ransom will be running the 26 mile long London Marathon dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi! In the hopes of breaking a world record in the process.

 Princess Leia has really fallen on hard times. This little article should bring a smile to your face. Enjoy it, I know I did.